There’s nothing quite like the experience of being a poor student bachelor. One of my roommates recently moved out of the house. She took all her belongings with her, which includes all the kitchen supplies and utensils. My kitchen belongings consist of one bowl, a shaker cup, and a fork that I found in the dish washer when we first moved in. Have you ever eaten cereal with a fork? It’s a sad sight to see. Anyways, I came home yesterday and had the craving for a nice bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. Good thing I have a bowl! I look in the sink and my bowl is sitting there, shattered in a dozen pieces.

What…the…hell? My one bowl, the only thing I was eating out of, is no more. Now I saw the bowl that morning in the sink and it was good as new. Very suspicious indeed. I heard there was an earthquake that day so maybe forces greater than my own decided I shouldn’t have that bowl. No matter. Being the resourceful person that I am, I poured the cereal into my GNC shaker cup. How hard could it be to eat cereal out of a shaker cup with a fork? Well, I never got the chance because as I looked at my cereal, I saw that it was covered in ants! Arggh, foiled again! I threw my cereal away and decided to go on to Plan B: order pizza.

I call the pizza place by my house but no one answers the phone. What’s up with that? I’m hungry here! Being too lazy to drive down the hill to go to the pizza place in person, I move on to Plan C: canned goods. I open my cabinet and find a can of baked beans and some peaches. However gross that sounds as a dinner, I thought it would fill up my stomach for the night. But something was missing. I don’t have a can opener. Blast! As I hung my head in defeat I grab the plum that’s on the counter and have a piece of fruit for dinner. You win this time, student poverty, but your days are numbered.